Today I want to tell you about a couple of common blunders people make with their emails which decreases response and absolutely kills sales.

The first and biggest is kind of obvious…

People don’t mail enough.

And you can fix that easily by simply making a commitment to email your list on a regular basis.

Daily is best.

The next big mistake people make is they’re always pitching a product, without using any kind of a story in the email.

IMO, that’s a BIG mistake.

There’s a time to strictly sell, but if all you do is pitch your product in every single email, who’s gonna want to read it?

Recently I bought something from a large health company and automatically was subscribed to their emails. Immediately I started getting daily emails with the following subject lines:

  • 30% off special today
  • Buy 1 get 1 free special today
  • 15% off plus free shipping special today

This is ridiculous.

Do you think their list ever opens these emails? I’m willing to bet they don’t.

So in my opinion, as I already mentioned above, and many times in previous issues…

Telling a good story is key.

Now let’s talk about using stories in your emails.

What should you write about?



Anything you want, really.

Talk about:

  • Your family
  • Your pets
  • Your home
  • Your car
  • Stuff out of your personal life
  • Stuff that’s happened to you years ago in school, on a job, on a vacation

There’s absolutely no shortage of stories you can write for your emails.

I have a list I email in a health niche.

In one of the emails I recently sent, I talked about standing in a checkout line at the store, watching a woman in front of me read “Women’s Health” magazine, while her shopping cart was full of foods loaded with sugars, MSG, hydogenated oils, etc…

You can create a story out of anything.


Plus, you can talk about news, events, famous people, some lesson from history.

Let me say it again, there’s no shortage of stories.

Now, here’s where a lot of people drop the ball at first, when they start writing stories. And I want to help you fix this in case you’re making this mistake

By the way I did it too.

Some of these story-based emails get kind of long winded and get off track.

Let me give you an example.

The email I wrote about the woman in the store…

Anna and I went to a store a few days ago. We needed to pick up some fruits and vegetables because we like to eat healthy and try to stay away from the bad stuff.

After we loaded up our cart with carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, beets, as well some fruit, we headed towards the checkout counter.

While standing in line at the checkout counter, I noticed there was a lady, probably in her 40’s standing with a full shopping cart.

She was reading “Women’s Health” magazine. A magazine about health, full of tips on fitness, nutrition, and staying healthy.

Sadly, when I looked in her cart, what I saw was the complete opposite. She had lots of processed foods. Foods full of sugar and other bad ingredients.

Okay, that’s enough.

Now even though this is what happened, if I was to write it like this, most of the readers would be GONE before finishing even the first sentence.

And I would lose the rest in the second sentence.


Because it’s BORING.

And this is how a lot of people write.

They tell the whole story with all the glorious details.

Details that don’t matter to the point you’re trying to make.

Being specific and having details is important, as long as it’s relevant to what  you’re trying to convey.

The key to writing a good story, is to make it short, sweet, and punchy.

And when I say short, I don’t mean that your emails can’t be long.

They can be long, but what you write needs to be interesting to your reader.

So here’s the version I sent…

My wife and I were standing in line at the store, as I’ve noticed a woman in front of us, going through an issue of “Women’s Health”.

Yet ironically her shopping cart was filled with a bunch of foods that are loaded with health crushing ingredients.

Sadly, she doesn’t know it.

Most of the boxes say “Natural” or “Healthy” on them.

Yet there’s absolutely nothing natural or healthy in there.

Only the illusion.

And she had plenty of this little-known killer food in her cart…

If you haven’t yet…

Checkout this article….

Do you see the difference?

In the first 2 sentences I told the whole story, which took FIVE sentences in the previous example.

After that, I started hammering the fact that these foods are loaded with “bad” stuff, because that is the point I wanted to drive home.

Everything else leading up to that didn’t matter.

This is a mistake I see people make. They go on and on about details that don’t really matter.

Unless your story has something really interesting or intriguing, go through it quickly and get to your premise fast.

Because then I was on to a product I was promoting which (surprise, surprise) deals with this issue of “healthy vs unhealthy foods.”

One more thing I want you to notice about these 2 emails. The choice of words.

She had lots of processed foods.

Her shopping cart was filled with a bunch of foods that are loaded with health crushing ingredients.


Foods full of sugar and other bad ingredients.

She had plenty of this little-known killer food in her cart as well.

In both examples above, which of these sentences are more interesting, more visual, and more emotional?

Foods full of… vs. Foods loaded with…

Bad ingredients… vs. Health crushing ingredients…

These subtle things make a huge difference on whether your email will be read and acted upon… OR… completely ignored.

You want to make it as fun and as easy to read as possible. You do it by telling engaging stories, but staying on track. And with the words you use.

The more powerful, emotionally gripping vocabulary you can sprinkle into your email, the more visceral the impact of your message will be.

And remember… people DO NOT buy logically, they buy emotionally. So your goal is to get them emotionally involved in your story.

Do that, and watch your emails start to produce some big results.

See you next time!



This article was adapted from and first appeared on Elite Marketing Pro